Motivation

I'm going to start blogging more. Mostly just to remember how I feel and felt during this time. I should have started at the beginning but I didn't really have the time and honestly I didn't know if this journey was going to be short lived or not. I started doing Weight Watchers last December and have lost 40 pounds since then. 11 months is a long time considering that some people can lose that in like 4 months, but I don't care. I feel good with my progress and I want to just keep going. Even if this last 40 pounds takes me another year. I've definitely changed the way I eat and think about food, but not enough yet. I need another year to completely change and be dedicated to it because the last thing I want is to lose all this weight and then gain it back.
For the past maybe 4 months or so I've been really into the gym. I would do 2 classes a day usually and it was at the expense of my social life. I would go to work, go to the gym till late, come home get a few things done and go to bed. I felt ok with it though. I was doing something for me and that was more important then going and watching a movie or something. So far I've gone from a size 18 to between a size 14 and 12. It's really annoying to be between sizes. Anyway, I love that I can see the changes in my body, I can see muscle definition, my hips are smaller, my clothes are baggier and I love that I can see my clavicle bones just a little :) . I think I'm having a hard time getting motivated because I have all these things already. I know I want to get smaller, but sometimes it feels like "ok, I'm in a size 12, that's not small but it's not huge...I could live with that for the rest of my life." I need to get past that mind set. I have a goal of 150 pounds...I don't know what size that is, but I want to get there and I can't stop now and be satisfied with my progress. I still have a long way to go. Maybe it's just the fact too that I've been doing this for almost a year and I'm just tired. I need to get re-motivated and fast. I've gotta figure out how to do that for me.
Recently I started running. I always though I wasn't a runner. I would run for about 2 minutes and my legs would hurt and I couldn't breath and I hated it. I recently figured out that running does hurt and sometimes it hard to breath but you just keep going. It's true what they say about running being 90% mental. If I force myself to go further I can do it. My legs are not going to fall off and I'm not going to die. I just have to force myself to keep going. That's the hardest part sometimes though. Ok I have to get back to work, I'll write more later.